Submitted by MysteriousPepito

Remember the magic of Colorforms? Remember taking out your first nylon-ish efigee of some Sesame Street character or a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and trying to place it in a scene in such a manner that it looks like it’s doing something? Chances are you don’t, because of a psychodynamic theory called repression, which buries painful memories deep into your brain in an attempt to kill them. Because Colorforms were stupid and never stayed on the God damn board they came with, and there was really only so much you could do with them theatrically, as they always had about 3 inches of white border surrounding them, an idea which would only become cool years later in the 1999-2002 era, when the concept of cel-shading made everyone just cream their jeans.

Well, now all this joy can be funneled into the heart of the Lord! The “HE LIVES!” Make-A-Scene Stickers allow you to re-live the fun and frivolity of Christ’s death and resurrection. Children will have hours of fun placing their savior on the crucifix, imagining his wails of agony and tears of blood coursing down his face, the hours of torture as he tries to support himself on the cross to alleviate some of the pain until finally his weakened abdominal muscles tear and his entrails spill into his body and his stomach swells, and then putting him in a pauper’s grave! Just imagine the high-pitched laughter coming from your kids when the angels weep over the collective hubris and self-destructiveness of humanity, and Mary Magdalene’s world is shattered before her eyes! The best part is that once Jesus gets out of the grave, you can put him right back on the cross over and over again! In fact, just keep him on the cross forever, because the fact that he died is the most important part of Jesus’s life. Nearly unlimited replay value.