Trust me, it gets worse from here.

Once again, we here at omgjeremy.com are delving into the strange and horrible world of the Uncommon Fetish. I don’t think we want to be delving into it, in fact, we may be kicking and screaming because we definitely wish we weren’t. But delving we are. And we shall continue to do so until every Wretched Sexual Deviance has been uncovered and gawked at.

Normally, Jeremy is the lucky jerk who gets to do this little business. Or, some reader decides to try their hand at reviewing another person’s website. But not this week. No, this week the readers haven’t contributed and Jeremy is tending to other matters. So he was all “Hey Amanda, find a site and review it because trev is a FUCIGS BRIAT. You have 4 hours to get it to me.” I used my powerful powers of observation to determine that I had better listen to Jeremy this time lest he call me a capitalized name far worse than FUCIGS BRIAT.

I waited until about an hour before my deadline. Then I called upon a couple of my friends to find a horrible site that I can laugh at for your amusement. K’ finally alerted me to a fetish I had known about before, but we had never really covered. There’s a pretty good reason why this subject has remained as untalked-about as it has. I think we’ve even only barely discussed it on our Forum. And for those of you who regularly attend our Forum, you know that this is freakish. Practitioners of this strange fetish aren’t really disgusting like the Shit Freaks are, and yet they disgust me. The acts themselves aren’t as mind-bendingly horrible as say, those people that dress as animals and use those horrific Animal Penis Dildos. And yet, it disgusts me. Ladies and gentlemen, I am blathering on and on to flesh out the word count just to tell you about the sad and pathetic world of Adult Babies.

Adult Sized Babies For Your Sad Pleasure

This is exactly what you don't want to see when you come home from work

At the Diaper Pail Friends page, which I will lovingly refer to as DPF from now on because I’m lazy that way, you will find a loving little community of sick bastards. And a page that is not really well maintained, as I have just discovered that the Site Overview Section is not able to be found. THIS DOESN’T MATTER. Because I can tell you right now, in my own words, what this site is here for. My own words are better because they are not going to be biased in favor of this horrible scene. So, my words will be so true that it will hurt the feelings of adult babies everywhere. And they will cry like little baby babies. Or, they will if I can find the inspiration inside myself that gets me to say hurtful things to losers.

This site is here to hook Adult Babies up with like-minded freaks. There seems to be a chat area, which I haven’t looked at yet, for fear of actual interaction with them. There appears to be a store that sells Diapers, Pants, Clothing, Videos, Audio, and… Stories. Because everyone wants to make money on anything they possibly can. And I guess adults can’t ordinarily find adult-sized children’s clothes. And this disturbs them so much! SO VERY MUCH! There are other things, too – Things that make me frown in that way that makes me look really angry.

I Really Hated Babies Already

It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of the human infant. It baffles me that anyone would want to have one in their house. Or how women want to shoot them out of their girl holes. Like Birthing Cannons, I imagine. So it really pisses me off to think that there is a nauseatingly high number of human adults who want to act like babies. And others who get a satisfaction from taking care of these pathetic worms. In this way, the Adult Baby fetish is pretty much actually a Sado-Masochism Meets the Shit Fetish ritual gone horribly wrong. Rather than dominatrixes and masters and all of that mess, they are just Mommy/Daddy and Baby. My mind screams at this twist of doom.

I think there are actually probably different stages of involvement of this fetish, as I just noticed the section on “How to Find a Babysitter” and things like that. And probably, someone in the adult baby scene is going to write me and angrily accuse me of spreading misinformation about their beloved lifestyle. But I’m not writing a research paper here. I’m writing a hastily scribbled article. So get off my back, okay?

I’ll Start Pulling Out Real Quotes Here and Wrapping This Thing Up

“WHY ADULT BABIES AND MOMMIES?

Why should a woman enjoy forcing or easing her husband into an adorable and/or humiliating costume of diapers, plastic panties and baby clothes? What would make a man, often a powerful, highly paid professional, gladly submit to (or crave) this kind of treatment. What is so much fun about playing mommy/baby games?

Identity protected in fear that he may go on some crazy adult baby rampage

The reasons generally fall into three categories. First, there is the joy of escaping into a fantasy world. Second, there is the sheer sensual delight of the costumes, the emotional risk, and the physical stimulation. Finally, there is the bliss of sharing the deepest possible intimacy and trust between two people.”

There you have it. The actual three reasons. Are you all happier people now? Me either. In fact, if you are like me, you didn’t really read into that much at all. Because after the first part of the first sentence you were shaking your head so much that you just stopped seeing the words and only saw a pile of burning babies. Then you imagined yourself throwing the adult variety on the pyre as well. Ah, how the flames danced!

Check This Out:

This is my last subheaded section, because it is getting late and Jeremy is getting ready to update this shit. I just wanted to share this with you. In the “Fun” section, a title both debatable and misleading, there was a link called “Don’t Look Here.” Or something equally as tempting. I was hoping it would be a big shit covered adult baby having just made doo in his big terrible diapies. But no. It was a “joke.” It was all like “BAD BABY!” and then proceeded to offer “punishments” you had to do. This gives you a glimpse into their sickening world.

“Naughty little boys and girls must read and SELECT as[sic] least one of the following PUNISHMENTS”

• You will wear an extremely thick and obvious diaper to your office or job tomorrow and may not use the bathroom during the entire day.
• You will wear an extremely thick diaper to your office or job tomorrow and must take a large dose of Ex-Lax the night before. You may not use the bathroom at any time. 
• You will go to your favorite bar or restaurant with your plastic pants showing above your pants and will place a baby bottle on the bar or table in front of you and stare at it until you can’t stand it any more.
• You will be thickly diapered, locked into an adult sized crib and fed a bottle every hour for 12 hours.
• You will tell your girlfriend or boyfriend that you are diapered, wet and unable to change yourself.
• You will wet your diaper and then tell your girlfriend or boyfriend that in return for being changed, you will do WHATEVER they want you to do.
• You will listen to a powerful hypnotic tape that will regress you to a 1 or 2 year old – PERMANENTLY.
• You will lie across your lover’s lap and be spanked until you cry.
  

  Yep

• You will tell you spouse or lover that you have been very naughty and will submit to any punishment they decide upon.
• You will purchase $100 worth of DPF products (hee hee – just kidding – this is not a punishment).
• You will invite all the girls or guys at your office or job to come to your house where you will show them your entire stash of diapers and other related items.
• Y ou will punish yourself and send us a full report.”

I know half of you just entertained the thought of joining their Throng of Diseased Lives just from reading that list. Sadly for you, you need to pay these people some kind of money to get to even look at the delightful pictures. I know I feel ripped off. The quality of this article suffers because of their greed!

In Summary, also – This is Actually the Last Subheading

What I mean to say is – this DPF site is just a symptom of a greater evil. Well, I use the term evil very loosely here. Grown people making doody in their pants aren’t exactly evil. Just sad. It is beyond me to figure out why a grown up who isn’t retarded or elderly would want to regress back to an infantile stage. Most of the glory of being an adult involves the fact that you can make it to the bathroom on time. The other part of the glory is that you are no longer a stinky helpless baby. Babies are too stupid to survive on their own. And they are disgusting. Why be one when you don’t have to be? The mental retardeds and the old folks – they can’t help themselves. And they are often very sad for this. If they heard about the Adult Baby racket, they might be as enraged and insulted as I am. It makes me angry that I have to share species with them. And it should make you angry as well.

None of us can go to heaven now

But it shouldn’t necessarily make you so angry that you want to murder or otherwise harm these “people.” I do not want to be embroiled in some trial in which one of you claims that I told you to kill adult babies. Because I would so never. Did you hear that, upholders of the law? I have clearly stated my disclaimer! From here on out, I am not to be held responsible for anyone else’s mental disorders.

Also – this website in general is pretty boring, although slightly fascinating in that horrible-car-accident kind of way. They don’t have enough pictures, just a lot of words. Words that justify their bad choices, or words pretending that everyone there thinks what they are doing is okay. Also, the site’s main guy, or whatever, Tommy, looks like Peter Pan Man’s blonde brother.

Go get yourself an adult baby here: www.dpf.com